One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously
for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided
the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just
wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a
shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized
what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was
astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the
donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he
would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as
the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!*
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting
out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles
is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not
stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less
1. After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.
2. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.
3. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
4. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
5. Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.
6. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up...louder. ..louder. ..louder!
7. Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.
8. If they start out with, "How are you today?", say "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems.... ........"
9. Cry out in surprise, "Helen, is that you? I've been hoping you'd call! How is the family?" When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE.
10. Tell the HSBC call center guy to call on your office number. - and give him the ICICI call center number.
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?
Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself he he he . . .
They all gathered around the surgery table where upon lay a body covered with a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor:
The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body. "
"For an example", the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.
"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and then inserting the same finger in their mouths.
When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them,
"The second most important quality is observation.
I stuck in my middle finger but sucked on my index finger.
Learn to pay attention."
I hope that you can get the effects on your computers! The words are great, but the movements of the faces add a lot...
I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is learned.
I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.
I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.
I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.
If you love God, send this to ten people and back to the person that sent it.
THIS DAY IS YOURS DON'T THROW IT AWAY
May God Bless You
Mutual Dependent Discoveries
Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.
Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, Invented make-up.
Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.
Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.
Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage,
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered
Ek aadmi ke pass ek kauwa(CROW) tha ……….wo bahut hi naram mulayam tha …….
To woh aadmi uska naam kya rakhega ???
Aur thoda socho
A) MICROSOFT ( My- Crow – Soft )
Are you tired of those sissy "friendship"poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card - just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask! "Because you are my friend"!
It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365' days.
Typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest. Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE. Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing)-means 30days. Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days. Days left 81.
7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days. Balance 6 days.
9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3.
10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days. 1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day??????!!!!!!!!!!
Balance = 0
" Then h ow can a student pass ??"
I am not too sure if most of you must be aware of the serial ‘Sarabhai v/s Sarabhai’. For those who are not aware of the serial it comes on Star One at around 10.00 in the night. There is this character Roshesh and he is just too funny. These are some of his Kavita’s (poems) which are just too hilarious. Please read each of them separately and carefully.
"momaa ka purse jaise hospital ki pyaari si koi nurse
purse mein rakha tissue paper karta hai paseene ka ilaaj
aur lipstick ho jaise bhookhe honton ka anaaj
momaa ke purse ka hai makhmali sa sparsh
momaa ka purse
momaa ka purse "
"Khatar khun khatar khun khatar khun
Sun mere dil ki dhun (Apparently Rosesh is comparing his heart to a car which has broken down)Tere pyaar ki oiling mil gayi isey
Toh khatar khun ka ho jaayega gun gun "
"In the living room of Sarabhai's.........
Hogi Saahil Bhai ki sagaai...........
Priya Bhabhi phuli na samaai
Yeah Yeah Yeah............... "
"Tum bin jaise mai raaste ka andha bhikhari
thodi blessings daan me de do
thodi mamta tumhari
momma ho momma ha... "
"Ek Common Man Ko Mili He Pari
Jese Chiku Ke saath Ho Strawberry
Aage Aage Mummy Aur Piche Piche Daddy
Jaise Ho Tom And Jerry "
"ghanan ghanan ghanan ghanan
badalo se aaye pehla soorya kiran
datton ke liye danta manjan
aur pet ke liye kaayam chooran "
"hawa mein hain khushi ki aroma
jeet gayi momma,jeet gayi momma
say hi to happiness n tata to trauma
jeet gayi momma,jeet gayi momma "
"lagul lagul lagul lagul
laal laal lagul lagul JELLY
jelly ke cabre dancer jaise shareer mein chhupi hai
anjaani ankahee paheli
jelly hai moma ka mann
narm mulayam meetha
pasand hai ise har koi
sangeeta rita mita aneeta
jelly giri zameen par
to awaaz aayi PLUP PLUP!
baccha usme haath maare
to sunai deti hai THUP THUP!
jelly par kabhi fungus na lage
uska swaad kabhi bhankas na lage
agar bachani hai hume hamari
TO JELLY KO BANANA HOGA HAMARA PRADHAN MANTRI!!"
"tumhe samjhe toh mujhe bhi samjhana, kyu hai mera jeevan itna khokla,jaise koi basi aur sada hua khaman dhokla.... "
"asman mein uud raha hai kabutar ....
Aasman mein uud raha hai kabutar ....
FLUTTER ..... FLUTTER..... FLUTTER...... "
"Popat Kaka ki atma ka Popat ud
Shristey k sajjan haath se popat jud
"humpty dumpty sat on the 'gadi'
gadi pe betha tabhi aa gayi dadi
dadi ne kaha aaja mere paas
kyuni gadi pe bethna is just so middle class."
Dekhta raha, Dekhta hi gaya
Phir mujhe chashma lag gaya
aasman mein char tare
aasman mein char tare
do tumhare do hamare
Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita
Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita
Tan ki shakti, manki shakti, Bournvita
Tu ne mere man se khela,
Tu ne mere tan se khela,
Tu ne mere dil se khela,
Tu ne mere Dhan se khela,
Tu ne mere man, tan, dil aur dhan se khela,
Well Played, Well Played (Wah, Wah..)
Bakre ne bakri ko seeng maara, bakre ne bakri ko seeng maara
abbbbe oyeee phir kya hua
Bakri ne bhi bakre Ko seeng maar diya
Hum aise aashik hain jo gulab ko kamal bana denge,
Uski har adaa par ghazal bana denge..
Agar wo aa jayegi mere jindgi me,
To Reliance ki kasam DELHI me bhi Tajmahal bana denge..
Zindagi ki raah mushkil hain to kiya huaa.
Thoda sa tum chalo,thoda sa main...phir Rikshaa kar lenge..
Dil ke arman ansuo me beh gaye,
Hum gali me the gali me reh gaye...
Light chali gayi,
Jo baat unse kehni thi wo unki mummy se keh gaye....
Brain teasers for you:
1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him . But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
3. There are two plastic jugs filled with water . How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug ?
4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away ?
5. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday ?
6. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.
For Answers to all the above Brain Teasers ---------- Scroll Down
1. The third . Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.
2. The woman was a photographer. . She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.
3. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug.
4. The answer is Charcoal.
5. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!
6. The letter "e" , which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph... .