A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee...
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:
"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded:
"You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No" replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.
"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee...
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:
"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded:
"You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No" replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.
"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:
"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded:
"You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No" replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.
"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone
Maria Gudelis Journey
Maria Gudelis is the best girl that I have ever met. I was in the second class compartment when Maria Gudelis bumped me and the moment I saw her I was speechless. At the first instance I thought Maria Gudelis was an extremely arrogant girl who was forcibly asked to stay on this compartment but later I realized she was angry on some other issue. The issue was not so big to be blown out of proportion. Actually on the chart her name was mentioned wrongly as “Maria Gudelis” and not “Maria Gudelis”. This was the reason why she was angry and upset and was spitting venom on other fellow passengers. Well this was just my initial description about this 5’6” 36-24-36 perfect blonde called Maria Gudelis. I came to know her name on the course of the journey. Fortunately we were in the same compartment. I thought God I will have to now bear her grunts the entire journey. But she had cooled down by then and I was also busy with my travel routine of reading books and listening to the ipod which I always carry.
It was a 12 hour journey from California to Dallas and music was my best companion. I don’t like to read books. So I was at my music. I had got a window seat and Maria Gudelis was right in front of me. She was arranging her luggage and while I was glazing her she noticed that but did not react to it. I was very much fascinated by her cute looks. Ok let me describe to you Maria Gudelis face she was a fair girl with dark brown eyes and a million dollar smile. She had pimples on both her cheeks which made her look even more beautiful. She also had a small mole on her lower lip which was just outstanding. I was glazing her beauty and was quite speechless. There was kind of silence in the entire corridor and in our compartment especially. I was once again back to my reading and she had just settled down on her seat.
One wave and Maria Gudelis hair all on her beautiful face. While removing those hairs from her face she wickedly smiled at me. This was an indication that she wasn’t irritated with me. I suddenly gained courage and I asked her name. She told me Maria Gudelis and that was the start of what I would call a dream journey for me. Maria Gudelis and myself we chatted the entire night. She told me about her professional life and how did she end up in this place with her relatives. She is a native of Arizona and was to her aunt’s place on a weekend trip and that is how Maria Gudelis was asked to join. Initially she would not get a leave as she was also studying part time. I was impressed with the way she spoke and put herself across.
Maria Gudelis was a know ledged girl and she was just the kind of a girl who would be perfect in the role of soul mate but the problem is how do I put this across. Maria Gudelis was a very vocal female and she was talking about herself not letting me put down what I wanted to but at the same time I felt she wanted to speak to me about many a things but was a bit scared and was just talking non sense to cover up some things. We were almost talking up till midnight and we did not even come to know about the time. It was when all the lights had gone dim that we realized we were late. But we were sought of liking each others company and agreed to talk for some more time. It was then my turn to speak and I told Maria Gudelis about my life and she was passionately listening. The moment I told her that I was single there was a sparkle in her eyes.
The remaining part of the story in my next post…………….
It was a 12 hour journey from California to Dallas and music was my best companion. I don’t like to read books. So I was at my music. I had got a window seat and Maria Gudelis was right in front of me. She was arranging her luggage and while I was glazing her she noticed that but did not react to it. I was very much fascinated by her cute looks. Ok let me describe to you Maria Gudelis face she was a fair girl with dark brown eyes and a million dollar smile. She had pimples on both her cheeks which made her look even more beautiful. She also had a small mole on her lower lip which was just outstanding. I was glazing her beauty and was quite speechless. There was kind of silence in the entire corridor and in our compartment especially. I was once again back to my reading and she had just settled down on her seat.
One wave and Maria Gudelis hair all on her beautiful face. While removing those hairs from her face she wickedly smiled at me. This was an indication that she wasn’t irritated with me. I suddenly gained courage and I asked her name. She told me Maria Gudelis and that was the start of what I would call a dream journey for me. Maria Gudelis and myself we chatted the entire night. She told me about her professional life and how did she end up in this place with her relatives. She is a native of Arizona and was to her aunt’s place on a weekend trip and that is how Maria Gudelis was asked to join. Initially she would not get a leave as she was also studying part time. I was impressed with the way she spoke and put herself across.
Maria Gudelis was a know ledged girl and she was just the kind of a girl who would be perfect in the role of soul mate but the problem is how do I put this across. Maria Gudelis was a very vocal female and she was talking about herself not letting me put down what I wanted to but at the same time I felt she wanted to speak to me about many a things but was a bit scared and was just talking non sense to cover up some things. We were almost talking up till midnight and we did not even come to know about the time. It was when all the lights had gone dim that we realized we were late. But we were sought of liking each others company and agreed to talk for some more time. It was then my turn to speak and I told Maria Gudelis about my life and she was passionately listening. The moment I told her that I was single there was a sparkle in her eyes.
The remaining part of the story in my next post…………….
Maria Gudelis
Name - Maria Gudelis
Father’s Name – Ramlal Gudelis
Mother’s Name – Tara Gudelis
Birth Date: September 21, 1980
Birth Place: Mumbai, India
Height: 5' 5
Maria Gudelis Favourite Actress is in the Pic.
Maria Gudelis Career Highlight - Everything you need to know about buying or selling a home can be found here on my Web site! As a leading real estate professional in my community, I am dedicated to providing the finest service available while breaking new ground.
Because the real estate industry is becoming more sophisticated and challenging every day, you need a professional that understands the industry and is positioned to stay ahead of the game.
Maria Gudelis will go the extra mile to help you achieve your goals. That's why I constantly research the market and property values so your home is priced effectively from day one. I also make sure the public knows your home is for sale by using innovative advertising and marketing techniques to attract potential buyers.
Maria Gudelis External Links
Maria Gudelis
Father’s Name – Ramlal Gudelis
Mother’s Name – Tara Gudelis
Birth Date: September 21, 1980
Birth Place: Mumbai, India
Height: 5' 5
Maria Gudelis Favourite Actress is in the Pic.
Maria Gudelis Career Highlight - Everything you need to know about buying or selling a home can be found here on my Web site! As a leading real estate professional in my community, I am dedicated to providing the finest service available while breaking new ground.
Because the real estate industry is becoming more sophisticated and challenging every day, you need a professional that understands the industry and is positioned to stay ahead of the game.
Maria Gudelis will go the extra mile to help you achieve your goals. That's why I constantly research the market and property values so your home is priced effectively from day one. I also make sure the public knows your home is for sale by using innovative advertising and marketing techniques to attract potential buyers.
Maria Gudelis External Links
Maria Gudelis
Some Humurous designs
Sign over a Gynecologist' s Office:
'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'
************ ********* *****
In a Podiatrist's office:
'Time wounds all heels.'
************ ********* *****
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
************ ********* *****
At a Proctologist' s door:
'To expedite your visit please back in.'
************ ********* *****
On a Plumber's truck:
'We repair what your husband fixed.'
************ ********* *****
On another Plumber's truck:
'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber..'
************ ********* *****
On a Church's Billboard:
'7 days without God makes one weak.'
************ ********* *****
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
'Invite us to your next blowout.'
************ ********* *****
At a Towing company:
'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.'
************ ********* *****
On an Electrician' s truck:
'Let us remove your shorts.'
************ ********* *****
In a Nonsmoking Area:
'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'
************ ********* *****
On a Maternity Room door:
'Push. Push. Push.'
************ ********* *****
At an Optometrist' s Office:
'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'
************ ********* *****
On a Taxidermist' s window:
'We really know our stuff.'
************ ********* *****
On a Fence:
'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'
************ ********* *****
At a Car Dealership:
'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'
************ ********* *****
Outside a Muffler Shop:
'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.' ************ ********* *****
In a Veterinarian' s waiting room:
'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'
************ ********* *****
At the Electric Company
'We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be.'
************ ********* *****
In a Restaurant window:
'Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.'
************ ********* *****
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'
************ ********* *****
At a Propane Filling Station:
'Thank heaven for little grills.'
************ ********* *****
And don't forget the sign at a
Chicago Radiator Shop:
'Best place in town to take a leak.'
'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'
************ ********* *****
In a Podiatrist's office:
'Time wounds all heels.'
************ ********* *****
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
************ ********* *****
At a Proctologist' s door:
'To expedite your visit please back in.'
************ ********* *****
On a Plumber's truck:
'We repair what your husband fixed.'
************ ********* *****
On another Plumber's truck:
'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber..'
************ ********* *****
On a Church's Billboard:
'7 days without God makes one weak.'
************ ********* *****
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
'Invite us to your next blowout.'
************ ********* *****
At a Towing company:
'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.'
************ ********* *****
On an Electrician' s truck:
'Let us remove your shorts.'
************ ********* *****
In a Nonsmoking Area:
'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'
************ ********* *****
On a Maternity Room door:
'Push. Push. Push.'
************ ********* *****
At an Optometrist' s Office:
'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'
************ ********* *****
On a Taxidermist' s window:
'We really know our stuff.'
************ ********* *****
On a Fence:
'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'
************ ********* *****
At a Car Dealership:
'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'
************ ********* *****
Outside a Muffler Shop:
'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.' ************ ********* *****
In a Veterinarian' s waiting room:
'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'
************ ********* *****
At the Electric Company
'We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be.'
************ ********* *****
In a Restaurant window:
'Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.'
************ ********* *****
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'
************ ********* *****
At a Propane Filling Station:
'Thank heaven for little grills.'
************ ********* *****
And don't forget the sign at a
Chicago Radiator Shop:
'Best place in town to take a leak.'
INSTALLING A HUSBAND
INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance - particularly
in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as F.A.CUP 5.0, The Ashes 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail!
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html'
and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0
update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO
NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).
Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance - particularly
in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as F.A.CUP 5.0, The Ashes 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail!
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html'
and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0
update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO
NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).
Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
Lesson for the day
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer,
"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a five rupee coin in one hand and two one rupee coins(1+1=2) in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,
"Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the two one rupee coins and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of
the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take two one rupee coins instead of five rupee coin?"
The boy licked his cone and replied,
............
............
............
............
"Because THE DAY I TAKE THE FIVE RUPEE COIN, THE GAME IS OVER
............
............
............
............
............
............
Moral: When you think the other person is dumb, you are making a fool of yourself
A-Z of life
A--Accept
Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions.
Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions.
B--Break Away
Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.
Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.
C--Create
Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with.
Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with.
Decide that you'll be successful and happy come what may, and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the way.
E--Explore
Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you'll learn more about yourself.
Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you'll learn more about yourself.
F--Forgive
Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.
Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.
G--Grow
Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.
Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.
H--Hope
Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.
Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.
I--Ignore
Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds.
Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds.
J--Journey
Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, and you'll grow.
Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, and you'll grow.
K--Know
Know that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.
Know that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.
L--Love
Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there's room for endless happiness.
Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there's room for endless happiness.
M--Manage
Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer less stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important things in life.
Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer less stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important things in life.
N--Notice
Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer your assistance when possible, and always your kindness and understanding.
O--Open
Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.
Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.
P--Play
Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness.
Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness.
Q--Question
Ask many questions, because you're here to learn.
R--RelaxAsk many questions, because you're here to learn.
Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that things always have a way of working out in the end.
S--Share
Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over.
T--Try
Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be amazed by what you can accomplish.
Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be amazed by what you can accomplish.
U--Use
Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that's wasted has no value. Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards.
Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that's wasted has no value. Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards.
V--Value
Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well.
Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well.
W--Work
Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second chance.
Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second chance.
X--X-Ray
Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see the goodness and beauty within.
Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see the goodness and beauty within.
Y--Yield
Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'll find success at the end of the road.
Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'll find success at the end of the road.
Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rears its ugly head. Let nothing interfere with your goals. Instead, focus on your abilities, your dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.
The Donkey
*THE DONKEY*
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously
for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided
the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just
wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a
shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized
what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he
quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was
astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the
donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step
up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he
would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as
the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!*
MORAL :*
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting
out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles
is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not
stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously
for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided
the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just
wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a
shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized
what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he
quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was
astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the
donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step
up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he
would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as
the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!*
MORAL :*
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting
out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles
is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not
stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less
Dating Process
Dating process . . .
Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?
Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??
Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?
Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??
Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.
Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.
Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!
Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??
New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?
Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???
TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself he he he . . .
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???
TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself he he he . . .
Medical Lessons
First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body.
They all gathered around the surgery table where upon lay a body covered with a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor:
The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body. "
"For an example", the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.
"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and then inserting the same finger in their mouths.
When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them,
"The second most important quality is observation.
I stuck in my middle finger but sucked on my index finger.
Learn to pay attention."
They all gathered around the surgery table where upon lay a body covered with a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor:
The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body. "
"For an example", the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.
"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and then inserting the same finger in their mouths.
When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them,
"The second most important quality is observation.
I stuck in my middle finger but sucked on my index finger.
Learn to pay attention."
God Said NO
God Said NO!
I hope that you can get the effects on your computers! The words are great, but the movements of the faces add a lot...
I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is learned.
I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.
I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.
I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.
If you love God, send this to ten people and back to the person that sent it.
THIS DAY IS YOURS DON'T THROW IT AWAY
May God Bless You
I hope that you can get the effects on your computers! The words are great, but the movements of the faces add a lot...
I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is learned.
I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.
I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.
I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.
If you love God, send this to ten people and back to the person that sent it.
THIS DAY IS YOURS DON'T THROW IT AWAY
May God Bless You
Discovery !
Mutual Dependent Discoveries
Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.
Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, Invented make-up.
Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.
Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.
Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage,
Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered
Why Newton Commited Suicide??????
Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide.....
Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters.
Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife.
Guess, what he does?
He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations.
He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.
Bang... the gangster dies...
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!
The 'climax' finally arrives.
Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax.
( Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)
Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton commits suicide...
Deadly PJ.....................
Ek aadmi ke pass ek kauwa(CROW) tha ……….wo bahut hi naram mulayam tha …….
To woh aadmi uska naam kya rakhega ???
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Aur thoda socho
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Dimaag chalao
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Nahi aata?
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A) MICROSOFT ( My- Crow – Soft )
True Friendship - None of that Sissy Crap !!!
Are you tired of those sissy "friendship"poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card - just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask! "Because you are my friend"!
Why students fail in exam...?
ess jaya <jeyasuccess@yahoo.com>, kalai <mkalaishivani@yahoo.com>,
Kannan <akannan@maxis.com.my>, kavitha kavitha <kavysh@yahoo.com>,
Nazlin <nazlin_msg@yahoo.com>, ell saripah <ell_yanaa@yahoo.com>,
cheah wengsang <cheahws78@yahoo.com>
It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365' days.
Typical academic year for a student:
1.Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest. Days left 313.
2.Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.Days left 263.
3.8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE. Days left 141.
4.1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126.
5.2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing)-means 30days. Days left 96.
6.1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days. Days left 81.
7.Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.
8.Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days. Balance 6 days.
9.For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3.
10.Movies and functions - at least 2 days. 1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day??????!!!!!!!!!!
Balance = 0
" Then h ow can a student pass ??"
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